Shape up or Shapewear!

New Year's Eve is on a Friday night this year... which means, for the first time in decades, I might actually go out for a night on the town. Trouble is, I just spent the last month or so stuffing my face and expanding my waistline. You know how it is, from Thanksgiving through Christmas, it's an eating bonanza. So it's no surprise that snug LBD (little black dress) that I was thinking about wearing this Friday doesn't quite fit right. So I've got a couple options here:

1. Go on a 5-day Master Cleanse diet which will make me drop a few pounds but gain lots of enemies due to my irritability and irrational behavior from starvation.


2. Go shopping for a dress in a bigger size which will trigger a depression that could ultimately prevent me from wanting to go out.

3. Hit up the Spanx.

So option #3 seems most appealing and least damaging to my physical and emotional well-being. But how to choose? The pictures modeling shapewear always include women who obviously DON'T need shapewear because they don't have an ounce of fat or jiggle anywhere on their bodies. So here's a story I recently did in which Consumer Reports used REAL women with REAL curves to try out the most comfortable and effective shapewear. Also, check out this article which breaks down the best garment based on the body part that needs the most help. So good luck ladies, hope to see you in da club, shaking what your mama gave you (with a little help from Spanx, of course!)

Christmas time... for many, a time of loss

My grandmother is dying of cancer and as Christmas nears, it becomes more of a miracle that she is still alive. It's been a roller coaster of emotions for all of us, as we dread yet pray for her passing. She is in a lot of pain and bedridden, but the other day when I visited, I found a lot of joy and comfort in being able to sing Christmas carols to her. She no longer responds or recognizes us, but our family is planning one last get together at her home this Saturday. We plan to talk, eat, exchange gifts, just like we do every year. Because that's what she would want us to do. There are some great articles written about this topic, including this one called "How to Deal with Death at Christmas." One of the best points I thought it made was: There is no harm or disrespect in celebrating. Your loved one would want you to find comfort when and where it comes.

How do you remember your dearly departed around this time? Any suggestions you can share?

Finally, I leave you with this incredible story about a teenage couple celebrating life and finding love even in the face of death. Merry Christmas.

Holiday Tip or Skip?

My girlfriend used to live in a New York City apartment that had a doorman. I remember her explaining to me how vital it was to tip him for the holidays. And if she didn't... she would never receive her packages again! Now I've never had a doorman hold a piece of mail hostage, but I do know several service providers that make my life better, easier, more beautiful, or in rare cases, like my hair person, all of the above! Obviously you're going to need to consider your personal budget. If you don't have the means, consider a handmade gift or even a handwritten, thoughtful note.

I found this handy holiday tipping guidelines from the Emily Post Institute.


Au pair or live-in nanny: Cash or consider a gift. This person works closely with your family and you probably know them well. (One week’s pay and a gift from your children.)

Regular babysitter: Cash. (One evening’s pay and a small gift from your children.)

Day care provider: Cash or a gift for each staff member who works with your children. (A gift from you or $25-$70 for each staff member and a small gift from your children.)

Live-in help (nanny, cook, butler, housekeeper): Cash and a personal gift. (One week to one month of pay as a cash tip, plus a gift from you.)

Private nurse: Gift (A thoughtful gift from you.)

Home health employees: Check with agency first about gifts or tipping policies. (If there is a no gifts/tipping policy, consider a donation to the agency.)

Housekeeper/Cleaner: Cash and/or a gift. (Up to the amount of one week’s pay and/or a small gift.)

Nursing home employees: A gift (not cash). Check company policy first. (A gift that could be shared by the staff like flowers or food items.)

Barber: Cash or gift. (Cost of one haircut or a gift.)

Beauty salon staff: Cash or gift depending on whether you tip well after each service. (The cost of one salon visit divided for each staff member who works with you. Give individual cards or a small gift each for those who work on you.)

Personal trainer: Cash or gift. (Up to the cost of one session or a gift.)

Massage therapist: Cash or gift. (Up to the cost of one session or a gift.)

Pet groomer: Cash or gift. (Up to the cost of one session or a gift.)

Dog walker: Cash or gift. (Up to one week’s pay or a gift.)

Personal caregiver: Cash or gift. (Between one week to one month’s salary or a gift.)

Pool cleaner: Cash or gift. (The cost of one cleaning to be split among the crew.)

Garage attendants: Cash or small gift. ($10-30 or a small gift.)

Newspaper delivery person: Cash or small gift. ($10-30 or a small gift.)

Mail carrier: Small gift only. (United States Postal Service’s gift regulations prohibit carriers from accepting cash gifts, checks, gift cards.)

Package deliverer: Small gift only, no cash. (Only if you receive regular deliveries.) Small gift in the $20 range. Most delivery companies discourage or prohibit cash gifts.

Superintendent: Cash or gift. $20-80 or a gift

Doorman: Cash or gift ($15-80. $15 or more each for multiple doormen, or a gift.)

Handyman: Cash or gift. ($15 to $40.)

Trash/Recycling collectors: Cash or gift (for private) check city regulations if it is a municipal service. ($10-30 each.)

Yard/Garden worker: Cash or gift. ($20-50 each)

Teachers: Gift (not cash) A small gift or note from you as well as a small gift from your child.

Family Tragedy in Merced County

There is a special place in hell for people who murder mothers and abandon babies to die in the cold. In this case -- the baby survived because it was found in time. But its body temperature was only 86 degrees. Thank God a neighbor heard/saw him on her doorstep and took him in. But if the baby had died in the cold, this would have been a double murder case. Heartbreaking.



As I was reading this story in the newscast yesterday, it made me sick to my stomach. Like literally, I wanted to throw up. When I first became a mother four years ago, my first story I had to cover coming back from maternity leave, was a baby abandoned in a dumpster. REALLY??? And ever since then, these kinds of stories are especially hard for me to read. I can read about death and destruction without batting an eye... but the death or abuse of a child gets my blood boiling. I know journalists are supposed to be impartial and all that, but we aren't. Our life experiences shape our viewpoints... and being a mom has made me sensitive to the plight of little ones. LOL... let me tell you how I REALLY feel.

I think this is a good time to remind people that California has a safe surrender law to save abandoned babies. The Safely Surrender Baby Law (http://www.babysafe.ca.gov/) was put into effect January 1st, 2001 with the intention of providing parents/guardians with a safe way to "abandon" their child (typically a county fire station or hospital's emergency room). Since the law was enacted, a total of 331 infants have been saved in California.

Facebook for... Milk Sharing?

Anyone who's given birth in the last decade or so... has encountered what my friend affectionately calls, the "boob nazis." That is, the well-meaning nurses, doulas, moms, and other "lactivists" who push the new mom to breast-feed their newborn.

I nursed both my kids, Sydney for 10 months and Isaiah for 7 months. So I'm a firm believer in breast-feeding, both for selfish and unselfish reasons. Obviously, the health benefits for the baby are numerous... but for me, breast-feeding melted off the pregnancy pounds faster than I could say "postpartum!" So even after I went back to work a couple months after each was born, I faithfully toted my breast pump with me everywhere I went. And I mean EVERYWHERE. I remember asking my photographer to stand outside in the rain while I pumped in the live truck before I went on air. I remember pumping in a tiny unisex bathroom in a New York City club while waiting patrons pounded on the door outside. I was committed, and my cup runneth over... meaning I had a huge oversupply. Both freezers were stocked full... and I found myself reluctantly tossing bags and bags of frozen breast milk as they expired. Several relatives and friends shared similar stories with me... of valuable breast milk going down the drain.

I first heard about milk sharing during a newscast one day, when I read a story about a man whose wife passed away in childbirth and area moms were donating their breast milk. But there's a stigma around it in modern society, especially in the age of HIV. Remember the uproar last year over Salma Hayek who nursed a malnourished African baby? There are milk banks that screen and pasteurize donated milk and give priority to premature and very ill babies. The milk is often very expensive: $3 to $5 per ounce, upwards of $100 for a day's supply.

My co-anchor Matt Keller recently showed me this article in Time about how Facebook has become a way to connect moms who milk share. The reasons for milk sharing are compelling... a mother who can't breastfeed because she's on chemotherapy. Another is on active duty and has to leave her baby behind. Honestly, I don't know how I would personally feel about feeding my child a stranger's breastmilk, but there are plenty of people who participate.

A new network called Eats on Feets — a play on Meals on Wheels — uses Facebook to connect women whose babies need supplemental breast milk to women nearby who have extra milk to give away. Time reports the network has grown to 98 local groups, spanning all 50 states in the U.S. and 22 countries. More than 70 matches have been reported so far, with milk coming not only in bags and jars, but also sometimes directly from the source. Here's a link to the Northern California chapter. The founder posts this warning, and I would just like to re-post it to remind any readers who are thinking about milk sharing: KNOW THY SOURCE. While it is true that tribe feeding offers MANY benefits, there is ALWAYS the risk of disease/contamination.

Surviving Family Get-Togethers

I love my in-laws. I really do. My husband's side of the family has been kind, loving, and generous from the moment I met them when we were dating a decade ago. My mother-in-law keeps my freezer stocked with Korean food, which is very labor intensive, so my husband can get a taste of home on any given day with minimal effort on my part. And my sister-in-law, my brother's wife, is a dream. She is the most amazing auntie to my kids and she's an amazing cook. In fact, she is cooking up a Thanksgiving feast in my kitchen as we speak. I can't wait to sample her homemade pies and creamed corn and famous (or infamous) mac 'n' cheese (with bacon!)

But my TV husband, that's my male co-anchor for those of you not in the biz, showed me a hilarious Yahoo article he found about avoiding holiday family fights. The author explains how to manage 15 different and difficult personalities all clashing around the holiday dinner table.

I had a good laugh reading it, and you may too, because we all know a great aunt or second cousin (twice removed) who falls into one of these categories. Or maybe you do! Thanks to Real Simple blogger Amanda Hinnant for these tips.

The “Constructive” Criticizer: Often heard saying: “When I was in your situation, I knew exactly what I had to do.”

The offense: Gives you unsolicited advice about everything from raising your kids to raising your hemline.
Your course of action: “The criticizer relies on his ability to bait you,” says Sue Fox, author of Etiquette for Dummies ($22, amazon.com). Don’t take the bait. Thank him, point out facts he may have overlooked, and move on. If he keeps offering barbed comments disguised as advice, Caroline Tiger, author of How to Behave ($15, amazon.com), suggests cutting him off with a breezy “Don’t worry about me—I’m fine!”
The Slacker: Often heard saying: “Yup, just a sec...I’ll be riiiight in.”
The offense: Refuses to help with the cooking, cleaning, child care, or even candle-lighting.
Your course of action: “Entertain the possibility that this person doesn’t realize anyone needs help, or perhaps he’s worried that if he were given a task to complete, he’d fail,” says Tiger. Give him precise instructions, something like “Vincent, it would be a great help if you went ahead and started rinsing the dishes. Let me get you an apron.”
The Cheerleader: Often heard saying: Anything with exclamation points. “Hey, guys! Let’s bundle up and go caroling in the snow!”

The offense: Hurls herself into the holiday spirit, donning seasonal sweaters with more doodads than a junk drawer.

Your course of action: If you’re not in the mood or if her joyousness feels forced, the cheerleader can be extremely irritating, says Fox. Don’t attempt to dampen her good cheer (she likes being the center of attention), but don’t let her cow you into wearing felt antlers to the table, either. Just keep your distance.

The Exaggerator: Often heard saying: “The Feds said the raid could not have gone down without my tip.”

The offense: Chronically oversells achievements, work situations, children’s accomplishments, size of fish caught.

Your course of action: “It’s rude to embarrass a guest who might be exaggerating due to feeling insecure,” says Tiger. “A little hyperbole on his part isn’t too much for you to endure if it makes him feel more comfortable.” Besides, everyone else at the table probably sees right through him, too, points out Barry Greenwald, Ph.D., associate professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Illinois at Chicago.

The Martyr: Often heard saying: Nothing. She’s still in the kitchen, slaving away over a hot stove.

The offense: Lets everyone know just how many potatoes she had to peel—and shows the blisters to prove it.

Your course of action: When she begins listing her suppertime sacrifices, interrupt with “And that is why you deserve to relax for the evening.” All you can do is ask if she needs help—if only to assure yourself that you tried. “She is obviously getting something she needs out of this, be it satisfaction or superiority,” says Tiger.

Keep reading, and see how to deal with your family's Bully, Gossip, Grinch, Drunk Uncle, and more! Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Habits of a Happy Mom

I consider myself a happy mom. Sure, I have the occasional cry locked inside the closet (that time of the month!), but overall, I'm a pretty stress-free, go-with-the-flow, good-natured mommy. Poop on the floor? No problem! Hello Kitty stamps all over the wall? I try not to laugh. Late for preschool again? Oh well. I've learned not to sweat the small stuff.

My friend Lisa Gonzales, who is also a TV news anchor in Sacramento, started a Facebook page called Moms in the Morning. She posted this great little article from Yahoo about how to be a happy mom.

Here are 10 things happy moms do--so remember these tips in your day-to-day life!

1. Find time for yourself: Happy moms know they deserve a little time to themselves. When you know you're going to have a little room to breathe later on in the day, it's easier to take on everything that's in front of you. Our formula? Take 2 hours out for yourself every 3 days.

2. Don't make a happy baby, happier!: We all do it...you see your baby's head at what you're sure is an unnatural angle snoozing in their car seat. You just know they'll be happier if their head was straight. So you move them. And they wake up. Then they scream. Or, you see them playing happily in the sand. You just know they'll be happier if they played on the slide. So you interrupt them and move them to the slide. And they're angry. And they let you know they're REALLY angry. Here's the thing, they were happy. It can be hard to do, but if your kid's not complaining, leave them be! Happy baby = Happy Mommy.

3. Embrace the mess: So your house doesn’t look like something out of a magazine. That just means it’s cozy! Your children have hands coated in dirt from the playground and faces coated in spaghetti from dinner. It’s not gross—it’s an adorable photo op! Life is about how you look at things. Next time that pile of laundry that’s been sitting on the chair for three days starts to get you down, just remember… it’s probably feng shui.

4. Make time for your friends: Your family can survive without you while you make time to see friends. You are a woman with your own identity and its imperative that you and that identity go out for some margaritas once in awhile!

5. Stop blowing yourself off: While you may be the one taking care of everyone, it doesn't mean you can't also get what you want. Help your family realize your needs are as important as theirs and when mom is happy, everyone is happy, but when mom is not....

6. Get in the zone: Take 10 minutes to do absolutely nothing but rest. Take a break from your day, close your eyes, breath in slowly and deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Repeat several times. Think about a place you love that is relaxing, spend 10 minutes there in your mind.

7. Remember your dreams and goals: Everyday we are encouraging our children to reach their full potential. But sometimes in the midst of being a parent we forget about our own dreams and goals. The best thing you can do to encourage a child is to lead by example –happy moms hold on to their dreams and goals and don’t let go.

8. Be lighthearted: Don't be the uptight mom. Be silly and dance with your kids to their music or tv show tunes. Be romantic and pull your partner into a waltz. Dance in slippery socks in your kitchen while making dinner.

9. Bend the Rules: One of the best parts of making the rules is occasionally breaking them. Maybe it’s taking your child out of school for half a day on their birthday, or waking them up in the middle of the night to see a sky of shooting stars. Happy moms know how to turn the mundane into fun.

10. Mind your own business: Concentrate on creating your life the way you want it. Take care of you and your family. Don’t get overly concerned with what other people are doing or saying. Don’t get caught up with gossip or name calling. Stop seeking the validation of others and be confident in yourself.