Christine Park

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

PRODUCT TEST: Neuro Drinks

Sleep in a bottle. Passion in a bottle. Happiness in a bottle. IF ONLY!!!
Neuro drinks make a lot of promises and TV News Mom HAD to check them out.

So here's what I found in my unscientific tests:

Neuro Sleep
Active Ingredients: Magnesium Glycinate, L-Theanine, 5-Hydroxytryptophan, and Melatonin

Taste: Mild, non-carbonated orange flavor. Like the Hi-C orange drink at McDonald's, watered down because you put too much ice in.

Effect: My eyes were so heavy by the time I hit the pillow for my afternoon nap, I don't remember even closing them and falling asleep. This, however, could be attributed to the fact that I got only about 5 hours of sleep the night before. I normally nap about 2 hours... but after drinking this, I slept for 3 hours straight, and woke up VERY groggy.

Neuro Trim
Active Ingredients: LuraLean, L-Carnatine, Caffeine, Gymnema Sylvestre, Resveratol, and Grean tea extract

Taste: Hint of citrus, also non-carbonated. Pretty unoffensive.

Effect: Drank this before a dinner out with the family at our favorite sushi joint. I honestly felt like it was working. I had no appetite. I probably could have sat through dinner without eating. That is, until they placed a delectable looking sushi roll right in front of me. So I took a bite. And strangely, with every bite, the hungrier I got. I ended up killing that roll. Moral of this story, don't eat if you want this to work.

Neuro Sonic

Active Ingredients: Taurine, Glucuronclactone, Acetyl-L Carnitine, L-Phenylalanine, Caffeine, L-Theanine, Alpha GPC, Inositol, Eluetherococcus senticocus, and reservatrol

Taste: My least favorite. Carbonated but sickeningly sweet. Reminded me a little of Red Bull.

Effect: Drank this before reporting for work one morning at 3:30am. Felt a little sick to my stomach and jittery, but my mind did not become intensely focused. I just know I had to get up and pee every 30 minutes.

Neuro Bliss
Active Ingredients: Acetyl-L Carnitine, L-Phenylanaline, S-Hydroxytryptophan, L-Theanine, Eleutherococcus senticosus, Rhodiola rosea, and Gingko biloba

Taste: One of my favorites! Lightly carbonated, a little like grapefuit juice, but without the bitter aftertaste.

Effect: Downed a bottle of Neuro Bliss on a Friday after a VERY long week at work. And lo and behold, I was downright gleeful for about three hours. Even the idiot tailgater behind me couldn't ruin my sunny disposition.

Neuro Gasm
Active Ingredients: Arginine AKG, L-Citrulline, Acetyl-L-Carnitine, L-Norvaline, L-Phenylalanine, Caffeine, L-Theanine, Alpha GPC, Inositol, L-Lysine

Taste: My other favorite. It's strawberry soda. Didn't know strawberry soda was an aphrodisiac. Ordering Fanta from now on.

Effect: BEST SEX EVER!!! Made you look! Put me in a frisky mood. But ever since I turned 33 1/2, I am always in the mood. Don't know whether this works or not. But I would not recommend drinking 14.5 ounces of ANY liquid (unless it's liquid courage) before doing the deed.

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